While digging around in the Soft Riot archives for something completely unrelated, I came about some old blog posts. Whether or not they were actually posted is another story as they’re that old. Some are before Soft Riot and relate to other musical projects from the 2000s including Primes (2003-2009) and Radio Berlin (1998-2005). I used to be more of an unhinged creative writer I guess, with a lot more humour, surrealism and satire in what I wrote. I used to write zines back in the halcyon days of the 1990s post-hardcore scene and touched back into that briefly in 2011 with a split zine I did with my London pal and poet, Robert Monk called Vexxed — oddly that used to be online with Issuu but like most proprietary platforms, the security of what you store there is only as secure as the company’s business aspirations and often these platforms change focus. It would seem Issuu has moved away from a publishing platform these days and promoting a “flipbook” service. Weird. Perhaps I’ll put Vexxed back online with my own hosting one day soon.
Here’s a few though that I thought were somewhat entertaining on a re-read:
Date: July 12, 2009
Time: 10.30 AM PST
Location: Excelsior Corp Boardroom, Pomona CA
In Attendance: Julie Payette (CEO), Ron Mitchellson (Executive Director), Heinz Dorff (Executive Director), Sari Jalaba (Operations Director), John Welsh (Marketing Director), Jennifer Mills (Finance Director), as well as Michael Szymczyk, Ursula Kite, Janine McMasterson, and Will Williams
- Meeting commences at 10.45 as Mr. Mitchellson forgot his keys to the boardroom and had to bum an extra set of keys off of the left wing custodian. Jennifer and John show up stereotypically late blaming fallbacks of alarm. Mr. Williams is still ripped on acid after a “robust” weekend of festive activities on a farm during a rock music festival.
- The meeting starts off casually with small chatter about weekend activities of the personnel. Topics range from intoxication, current Hollywood film releases, and the newest meal available at Sonic Burger.
- Mr. Mitchellson in a passive aggressive manner passes a joke with the intention of getting staff to move on with the meeting.
- A few waters are sipped.
- Discussed first is “business casual” day coming up. Staff came to a conclusion that jean cut-offs were off the list of acceptable items to be worn on this occasion.
- Ms. Mills congratulates the staff for a fantastic month of June and a generally good close the the quarter. Figures are read out in a list, eyelids begin to close.
- Mrs. Payette and Mrs. Mitchellson discuss staff salaries and bonuses going into the next year. Mr. Szymczyk contests the frozen salary from this past fiscal year. An air of tension begins to permeate the room, but immediately broken when Ms. Kite’s chair topples over after leaning back to far in the chair while clicking a ball point pen.
- Mr. Welsh discusses the correct usage of staff signatures in emails. Some staff are using 12pt Arial instead of 11pt Arial and therefore select individuals in the meeting are reprimanded for their typographical no-no.
- Mr. Jabala discusses new computers. Mac or PC?
- Mrs. McMasterson eats two chocolate biscuits and Mr. Williams falls into his “Christopher Walken” character for a few moments during the computer discussion. This was more entertaining than usual due to Mr. William’s still being being under the waning influence of LSD.Mr.
- Dorff quickly races through small point-by-point daily operation notes that your minutes taker did not write down as he was using the toilets.
- Meeting concludes at 11 AM sharp. Small chatter such as “I need a coffee” and “I’m still tired” are discussed between staff members as they exit the office. Mr. Williams takes all the pens from the table and arranges them in a hexagon type shape.
THE RACE IS FINALLY OVER!!!!
[ 9.21.2004 ]
This just in from INSOUND.com! The long race for “Best Band In The World” is FINALLY over! After putting a few years into the long, grueling ratrace: here’s what INSOUND had to say in it’s formal announcement to the world:
“Interpol is back with the astonishing follow-up to “…Bright Lights”. Less spooky, more upbeat and with bigger hooks; “Antics” cements Interpol’s reputation as Best Band in the World. This was well worth the wait. Highly Recommended!”
There have been rumours that the “hard-to-impress” Latvian and Turkish judges finally cracked on this one giving their efforts a 9.263 and a 9.281 respectively. Close in the ranks were The Killers, The Bravery and Franz Ferdinand, who lost a few points in the PR leg of the marathon. We’ll be posting some video clips from the race soon.
A ceremony will be held on the grounds of the UN Building in NYC later this fall, where Interpol will be granted the “Best Band In The World” medallion, better known to the world as “The Great Charles”. The band will also be awarded numerous national and religious holidays amongst many of the world’s free-thinking nations as well as the prestigious “Key To The World”, where the band will be welcome in all cities from one of this great, magnificent earth to the other.
January 2005 the contest will resume in Cape Canavaral, FL where Interpol will board the The Challenger VIII to head to The planet Mars, where they will expand on their Best Band In The World title and proceed to win over the solar system, one planet at the time.
Join us next week as we will have full coverage of “Most Important Band In The World”.
MECHANICAL MINDS
[ 11.15.2004 ]
After some thinking about it I think my lack of journal confessions is due to my daily operations become more and more mechanical. No, I haven’t been getting cybornetic implants or anything so don’t take it so literally! It’s more that my method of operations now compress more and more activity into a day. The act of juggling work, band activity (administration and music), household chores and errands, and even socializing require 100% of my concentration to get all the things done I need to do in a day. It’s weird, the prospect of art for art’s sake sometimes doesn’t even factor into the equation although that seems to be my ultimate goal for something to come across for what it is. I’m very lucky that when I get down to the business of music nowadays that I usually, for the most part, am able to flush some of the mechanical mind out of the picture and just let the music happen and let the mechanical mind filter out all the filler.
A few years ago I used to write a lot more. Fuck, back in the late 90s I was on fire for the writing: I put out a small zine-published book of writings I did from 1996-1997 and looking back on those writings now I’m wondering how the hell I gathered the mental energy to pull such out-from-left-field ramblings together into a book. I tried jumping back into it around 1998-1999 but I think I became to self-critical to allow any writings to flush out to the finish and be read by the public eye.
When I was on tour last fall – this time last year – I was lying in the back of the van for about 8 hours in a really weird state of mind. Touring can kick your ass and somewhat re-wire the way you think about the thinks you do and question why you put the effort into doing those things. In this case my band had played a string of poorly booked shows (mainly due to the half-assed organization of promoters) and it being the final stretch of the tour, I was getting incredibly homesick. Anyway, in the back of that van I started sketching out this highly involved piece of fiction that I wanted to write (I think I may have mentioned it in a previous journal post – the piece was to be called “The Hum”). I was really into books that provided a sub-cultural mix of sci-fi and social commentary which I found in authors like George Orwell and JG Ballard, the latter being one of my current favorite writers. I start mapping out the overview and the background of the story with the idea that when winter came and the weather started getting shitty that I would lock myself up in the apartment and write this book; thinking it would just pour out of me.
That wasn’t the case as that winter consisted of moving into a new place when Vancouver was basically a sheet of fucking ice, using all my effort to keep The Wax Museum engine rolling, band-on-tour stuff, and everything else that adds up to maintaining my existence. So the book is put off for the time being – a project that’s literally like 5-6 years brewing. The time will come.
On a curious note this post is actually becoming somewhat of the novel itself. I’m finding that writing these posts out of the office environment actually makes things easier to write. I guess a mental stigma has been attached to how I go about doing things at my desk. Anyway, “I’ll be here all night”…